One thought on “Funnies

  1. I, for one, am thoroughly exasperated when I read of “lazy
    journalists” and such on dissident Web sites which should know better.
    These smug ass-lickers are doing exactly what they’re being paid to
    do: present a National Narrative of the Great Booming Prosperity (the
    stock market broke records! what’s YOUR problem?), the Outrage du Jour
    (Paris Hilton is such a dimwitted slut! Somebody murdered a pregnant
    white woman!) while glossing over anything and everything that’s
    relevant to what’s really going on in the world.

    When I came home from Japan in 1997 I found out what a bubble
    surrounds these United States: instead of China’s continued acts of
    hostility towards Taiwan, the biggest news here was the TV show
    *Seinfeld* having its series finale. Oh, and that Bill Clinton! Such a
    horndog! One could write a big fat book (or Web site) about the
    day-to-day comparisons between the press’ treatment of Bill Clinton
    (we can’t trust him! he speaks like he’s read something on the subject
    — ew! — and enjoys sex too much!) versus that of Beloved Boy King
    Bunnypants Bush. (“Well, Cokie, people do seem to have problems with
    the way his party stole the elections, permitted New Orleans to drown
    and starve post-Katrina and how he lied about the war, etc. But that’s
    partisan politics for you. History will prove kinder….”)

    Every now and then when I want a good case of whiplash to start my day
    I’ll tune into BBC News at six a.m. I’ll learn of the politics in
    France and Italy, the doings of the European Union, and what’s really
    going on Iraq. Then I’ll tune into *Robin & Company* on CNN Headline
    News at seven, in which the titular (pun intended) host, complete with
    reddish-brown hair and big eyes (we can take them so much more
    seriously than blondes, can’t we?) shows footage of her dog frolicking
    the lake lapping at the back yard of her Buckhead McMansion or the
    needlepoint image of her a devoted old lady viewer sent in. (I swear
    to Shiva, I saw these clips.) That is, when she’s not talking about
    how “some people” disapprove of Hillary Clinton’s campaign, a sneer
    curling across her carefully painted lip before going to another set
    of commercials and the same footage of burning forests (rich people’s
    homes threatened in Tahoe! eek!) we saw ten minutes ago, before
    getting to that all-important Entertainment Report, in which we learn
    which movie made the most money over the weekend.

    In the end I realize it’s really all our fault. We take this absurd,
    insulting situation for granted when we should miss no opportunity
    whatsoever to throw rocks at these people’s heads.

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